Back in the States

So I’ve been back in Florida for almost a week now. I was going to try to write a nice summary of my time away but then I realized I don’t have one yet. Instead, I’m just going to start typing. There seems to be two sides to all of my emotions about being back.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve spent 6 days away from the orphanage because the days have gone quickly but in another sense my life in Honduras already seems really distant. It has been so great getting to see my family and catch up with friends but it has also been hard to be back.

The most difficult thing is how much I miss the kids. I miss their smiles, hugs, and laughter. I want to know how they are and make sure they are okay. I guess being back has just given me more time to reflect but since leaving I have thought much more about all the things that those sweet children have been through. I think about their innocence being stolen and their hearts and bodies being damaged by the adults in their lives. I think about the feelings of abandonment they must feel. It breaks my heart and it makes me angry. It’s not fair that they have suffered. But then I think of their faces and I don’t see victims. I don’t see pain. I see joy that is beyond understanding. I see an openness to love that makes no sense. I see boys playing soccer, girls swinging, and I see endless possibilities of a redeemed future because they are loved by a God that heals and renews. I think we can all learn so much from them. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn.” Right now, I am having to choose both. I am mourning over the evil that has hurt those kids but I am rejoicing in the fact that they are still able to be children. They still laugh, they still play, and I am amazed at the strength I see in them.  These kids that have absolutely stolen my heart are not just orphans. They are not just third-world children living in poverty. They are sons and daughters of the “father to the fatherless” and He loves them infinitely more than I ever could.

The Lord has used these kids and the other volunteers I worked with to teach me so much. He has shown me so much about loving, serving, and being loved. I am beyond thankful for my time with them. My prayer is that I will not forget these things as I adjust to life back at home. A song that we often sang in church in Honduras was “Con Todos” by Hillsong. As I was leaving, God put this song on my heart often. I not sure where I’ll be next but I know that I want my life to be for the purpose of bringing him glory. The song really speaks to this. To close, I’ll put the lyrics of the English version. Thank you so much for your support and your prayers. They were greatly needed and are needed still. If I haven’t talked to you yet, I’m looking forward to catching up with you soon!

“With Everything”

Open our eyes

To see the things that make your heart cry

To be the church that you would desire

A light to be seen

Break down our pride

And all the walls we’ve built up inside

Our earthly crowns and all our desires

We lay at your feet

So let hope rise and darkness tremble

In your holy light

That every eye will see Jesus our God

Great and mighty to be praised

No Hay Nadie Como Tu, Solo Cristo

Hi all,
I hope you are all doing well. It is really hard to believe but my four months in Honduras are coming to a close. I´m under the 3 week mark now. There is definitely a part of me that is excited to get home and see friends and family and another part of me that knows it is going to be really hard to leave. I can´t even think about saying goodbye to the kids yet so I´m not going to blog about leaving..instead I´ll share a story from a couple of weeks ago.

Every morning, each house starts the day at 6:30 with circle time, a time for worship and a short message. A couple weeks ago an older girl that works in our house shared the message. She is a sweet, quiet girl and has 7 other siblings at the orphanage. She told her story and shared her faith with us. She told us how several years ago her father died. Her mother could no longer take care of her and her siblings so they had to come to the orphanage. She began to cry and it was heartwrenching watching her relive that pain. In a really sweet and loving way she asked how many of the little girls missed their families. Their were lots of tears being shed as all the little hands went up. I can´t describe the overwhelming sorrow I felt for those girls. In the day to day moments, seeing the smiles and watching kids be kids, it is easy to forget where these kids come from. It´s easy to forget that every single one of them have experienced a lot of pain in their short lives. This girl concluded her story by talking about how much she loves God. Her faith was incredibly encouraging and inspiring. She told the girls that even when they miss their families and feel alone, God is their father. She said that we all have brothers and sisters in the family of believers. She ended by saying that no matter what we face in our lives (and I know she really believes this) that God is with us and is our strength to continue.

After her talk, I just couldn´t keep myself from crying. One of my little girls saw me and came up to me. She pulled herself up into my arms and started wiping the tears from my face with her hands as she said, ´´Don´t be sad, Kelsey. Don´t cry´´. As I saw how incredibly compassionate this sweet little girl was being and as I realized that I was having my tears wiped by a child who has suffered much more than I ever have,  I was struck by such a beautiful picture of Christ´s love and compassion for each of us. We are shown compassion and we are given comfort so that we can share that with others. 2 Corinthians 1:3 says, ´´Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.´´ I pray that I will always remember the grace and compassion that I have been given and use that to keep my eyes open to those who need comfort around me.

I´m guessing this will be my last time on a computer here so the next updates will be in person. Love you all!

I have access to the internet today! I hope that everyone is doing well. I´m still loving my time at Orphanage Emmanuel. I wish you could all see and experience all the things that I am because at least right now I really don´t have the words to explain. I wish you could see the sweet faces of these kids and see how everything works here.

We finished with the dental clinic and I now have two new jobs. I am teaching a class for special needs children in the morning and running a horse therapy program in the afternoons. I didn´t ask to be put in these jobs, my volunteer coordinator just placed me there but they are a perfect fit for me.  Pretty much, God is allowing me to work in areas that I love and have a passion for. I´ve started assessing and working on a curriculum for the special needs kids and I´m realizing how much my education is being used to help others. I love seeing the kids with the horses and we´re seeing kids who are terrified of horses in the beginning, grooming and riding horses after a few classes. If you can´t tell, I´m really enjoying my new jobs.

I also had the opportunity to do some traveling for a week and got to see Copan and a couple of cities in Guatemala. I´ll definitely have to fill you in on the stories from my time away from the orphanage when I get back. One of the biggest blessings of the trip though, was having some time to process everything that´s been going on since arriving in Honduras. It seems like I get so much more clarity on certain situations when I´m removed from the midst of them. I realized how much of a blessing it is that the Lord would send me to a place like Emmanuel. I think all of us that traveled were so ready to get back with a fresh desire to serve and love the kids. There are so many needs here (and at home too) and God chooses to use us to do some of his work. It´s so incredible that we are able to bring him glory through things that sometimes seem like such mundane tasks. Thank  you so much for your prayers and encouragement.I´m praying for all of you back home as well. Even though this place feels so much like home, I really do miss you all.I can´t wait to catch up and be able to tell you more about my experiences here.

Te Quiero Mucho

Hi everyone! Sorry it´s been so long but this is the first chance I´ve had to get on the internet since my last post. I have been living in Honduras for one month now. Time is flying by. Everything is going really well, though. The first week or so was a little overwhelming trying to learn how everything works but I´m feeling much more at home now. Right now, we have a really large team from Tennessee visiting and they come every year. I´ve been assigned to work in the dental clinic with their dental team. Things are pretty hectic all day because our goal is to see all 500 children in the two weeks that they´re here. We´ve already seen 240 in the last 5 days! I´m definitely learning as I go since I have no dental experience but it´s been pretty interesting.

I´m also still working with the little girls and they are just such precious girls. They can be pretty challenging at times (there are 70 of them in the house I work at) but it´s moments like one I had this afternoon that reminds me why I´m here. There is one little girl that follows me around everywhere but she hardly ever talks. I rarely hear anything from her but I know she´s missing if she´s not hanging on my arms or legs. Today, she came up to me and said, ´Kelsey, Te quiero mucho´ which means I love you a lot. So incredible to hear anything, let alone that from her.

I don´t have much time but I wanted to give a quick update to let you all know that I´m doing well. I´m learning daily more and more of my own weaknesses but also seeing the promise that His strength is made perfect in our weakness prove to be true. The Lord is showing me so much of His love for me and for these kids here. I hope He is showing you this as well. I miss you all and can´t wait until I get to tell you more specific stories in the future. Lots of love!

Hola from Guiamaca

Hi Everyone!
I´m really glad I get to update my blog so soon. It is hard to believe that I have already been living in Honduras for one week. At the same time, it feels like I have been here forever. I had a short break after lunch with the kids so a few of us volunteers are sitting in  an internet cafe in Guiamaca. My time here so far has been incredible. I´m not sure yet really how to describe it. The days are long and filled with lots of work but they are so fulfilling. For the first couple of days, I was working all day with the toddlers and babies. Changing diapers, playing, feeding etc. On Monday, all of the volunteers were assigned to a specific house that we´ll be working with daily. I´m with the little girls. They range from ages 5 to 11 and I am already so in love with them. We also do a lot of other jobs..basically whatever needs to get done. I am living in a female volunteer house. There are 11 of us right now. Everyone is really great and we have a lot of fun. For all of my old roommates, it reminds me so much of 418. Needless to say, I feel right at home.

By far, my favorite experience so far at the orphanage has been going to church. The kids, staff, and volunteers have church Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. I can´t explain how amazing it is to worship God with hundreds of orphans and the people giving their lives to serve them. Last night, we were singing a song in English (some are in English and some Spanish). The presence of God was so tangible as we all sang `You are my freedom, Jesus you´re the reason I´m kneeling again at your throne. Where would I be without you here in my life?´ Since being here I have found out that very few of the children here are actually orphans. They are all here by court order, meaning they have been removed from their homes because of abuse or neglect. It amazes me that the kids can still smile, laugh, and be open to love after the horrors they´ve lived through. You wouldn´t believe some of their stories. It is even more amazing, though, that they have ended up in a place where they are loved and where they hear the Gospel. When we were singing that song, the kids were not going through motions. They were crying out to the God they know and love. As it says in Psalms, though their parents have forsaken them, God has taken them up. I am so thankful that I get to be among them and I am learning so much from them already. I wish I could share more with you but I´m going to have to leave. Thank you so much for your prayers. The Lord is so good and is teaching me so much. I hope you are all well.
Lots of love!

It's Almost Time!

I'm leaving for Honduras. In 5 days.

Through some unexpected changes of plans and heart during my last semester of college, God has set me on an adventure to follow him somewhere that I never would have imagined. I'm traveling to Guaimaca, Honduras to work at Orphanage Emmanuel. Emmanuel is home to almost 500 orphans. The staff and volunteers at this beautiful place are committed to loving and caring for children that might otherwise be forgotten and cast aside. As these kids are being cared for, they are taught about Jesus and his incredible love for them. I am so excited to get to be a part of what the Lord is doing at Emmanuel. I know he has a lot to show and teach me and I get to love and serve his sweet children while he's doing that! My heart breaks over the fact that each child at Emmanuel has suffered abuse, abandonment, or death of their parents. I am so thankful, though, that they have a place like Emmanuel to be cared for.

Honestly, I have no idea what to expect. I don't know specifics of what I'll be doing or anyone at the orphanage and I speak only a small amount of Spanish. I do know, though, that on Thursday I'll be getting on a plane and arriving at Emmanuel. While these unknowns can definitely cause some nervousness, I know that my steps are directed by a loving God. Psalm 48:14 is really reassuring. "For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end." I can't wait to see what's in store for me and I hope to be able to keep you updated. I'm not sure how much access I'll have to the internet but I promise I'll try my best.

Please pray for Orphanage Emmanuel. Pray for the kids, the staff, and the volunteers. Please pray for me as I am there volunteering for the next 4 months, as well. Friends and family, you are amazing. Thank you for being so incredibly supportive of me! Hopefully I will be able to post an update relatively soon.