So I’ve been back in Florida for almost a week now. I was going to try to write a nice summary of my time away but then I realized I don’t have one yet. Instead, I’m just going to start typing. There seems to be two sides to all of my emotions about being back. It’s hard to believe that I’ve spent 6 days away from the orphanage because the days have gone quickly but in another sense my life in Honduras already seems really distant. It has been so great getting to see my family and catch up with friends but it has also been hard to be back.
The most difficult thing is how much I miss the kids. I miss their smiles, hugs, and laughter. I want to know how they are and make sure they are okay. I guess being back has just given me more time to reflect but since leaving I have thought much more about all the things that those sweet children have been through. I think about their innocence being stolen and their hearts and bodies being damaged by the adults in their lives. I think about the feelings of abandonment they must feel. It breaks my heart and it makes me angry. It’s not fair that they have suffered. But then I think of their faces and I don’t see victims. I don’t see pain. I see joy that is beyond understanding. I see an openness to love that makes no sense. I see boys playing soccer, girls swinging, and I see endless possibilities of a redeemed future because they are loved by a God that heals and renews. I think we can all learn so much from them. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn.” Right now, I am having to choose both. I am mourning over the evil that has hurt those kids but I am rejoicing in the fact that they are still able to be children. They still laugh, they still play, and I am amazed at the strength I see in them. These kids that have absolutely stolen my heart are not just orphans. They are not just third-world children living in poverty. They are sons and daughters of the “father to the fatherless” and He loves them infinitely more than I ever could.
The Lord has used these kids and the other volunteers I worked with to teach me so much. He has shown me so much about loving, serving, and being loved. I am beyond thankful for my time with them. My prayer is that I will not forget these things as I adjust to life back at home. A song that we often sang in church in Honduras was “Con Todos” by Hillsong. As I was leaving, God put this song on my heart often. I not sure where I’ll be next but I know that I want my life to be for the purpose of bringing him glory. The song really speaks to this. To close, I’ll put the lyrics of the English version. Thank you so much for your support and your prayers. They were greatly needed and are needed still. If I haven’t talked to you yet, I’m looking forward to catching up with you soon!
“With Everything”
Open our eyes
To see the things that make your heart cry
To be the church that you would desire
A light to be seen
Break down our pride
And all the walls we’ve built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at your feet
So let hope rise and darkness tremble
In your holy light
That every eye will see Jesus our God
Great and mighty to be praised
